Flags galore: So proudly we hail as vote nears...

American Flag-Wikipedia

Written by Jim Heffernan for the DuluthNewsTribune/11-2-24

 Well, it’s almost over. Election day voting is Tuesday in the most contentious national election cycle I can recall, and I ain’t no kid, friends. My first vote was in 1960 when Kennedy and Nixon faced off.

 

One thing I’ve noticed this campaign is the proliferation of U.S. flags all over the place. Not just on Independence Day and Memorial Day, but every day. Not just at schools or government buildings, but on homes and cars. And an occasional pickup truck will roar by with Old Glory waving on both sides of its box.

 

Patriots? Super patriots? Or politics?

 

I’m patriotic enough, like, I’m sure, your average American is patriotic. I love our country for the good things about it, and recognize bad things about it both in the present and the past, and hope they can be addressed. I willingly served in the military. Nobody’s perfect.

 

Also, I don’t associate the flag exclusively with any particular presidential candidate in this election, but I sense that some do, big time.

 

I put a small flag out on Memorial and Independence days. It measures about 12-by-15 inches and has a narrow arrow-like staff I stick in a flower pot facing our street. It’s like the flags that line the rows of veterans’ graves in cemeteries on Memorial Day…graves that include my father’s.

 

My generation was taught to venerate the American flag hanging in our classrooms, and we were preached to by elders on how to handle flags. We pledged allegiance to it regularly with our hands on our hearts. I remember being told that if you were handling an American flag and somehow it touched the ground you were supposed to burn it, out of respect.

 

Whew. I was always careful not to let that happen because I wasn’t supposed to play with matches.

 

There’s something disquieting to me about the proliferation of flags these days — fairly large ones prominently displayed on numerous houses the way my father always displayed a good-sized flag on my growing-up home but only on appropriate days, including Flag Day each June.

 

A few years ago I read that when you start seeing an unusual proliferation of flags all over the place it could be a sign of impending war. Who knows? We can hope not. Of course there’s plenty of war going on right now, but generally not directly involving U.S. troops.  

 

I sometimes wonder what might happen to a politician — presidents, presidential candidates, Congress people from both major parties — if he (this mainly applies to suit-wearing men) neglected to put one of those tiny American flag pins on his lapel. They never appear in public wearing a suit without a tiny flag on the lapel and they almost always are clad in suits. (Some woman politicos also don them when they wear blazers.)

 

I guess they think it proves they’re patriotic Americans and that they love our country in case there was any doubt…“so vote for me.” Also, the higher level politicos never appear on TV without a row of tall American flags draped behind them. “O say can you see…?” Yup, sure can.

 

I have one of those little lapel pin flags, given to me under unique circumstances. I was a pallbearer in Texas for a relative who had been a career U.S. Army officer, lived a good life, and died an elderly veteran.

 

As we awaited the start of the funeral service, a friendly woman I didn’t know came over and pinned little U.S. flag pins on the pallbearers’ lapels. Fine with me; it was an appropriate occasion for wearing one as we honored a man who had devoted a good part of his life to serving America in uniform.

 

So thanks, ma’am, whoever you are. Inquiring later, I was told that the lapel flag pin lady was the daughter of Ross Perot, the Texas business tycoon/Reform Party politician who ran for president in 1992 and again in 1996, and made relatively good showings. She was a nearby neighbor to the daughter of the veteran we were honoring.

 

I still have that little lapel flag. It’s in a small china cabinet in our home where we display fancy crystal accumulated over the years — and almost never use. I never use that little lapel flag either.

 

No disrespect for the flag. I’m just not running for political office. And I don’t wear suits much anymore.

 

Don’t forget to vote your conscience on Tuesday.  I’ll be voting my heart…along with whatever’s left of my brain. You shouldn’t have any problem finding your polling place. There’ll be a flag out front. Let’s hope none of them touch the ground.

 

Jim Heffernan is a former Duluth News Tribune news and opinion writer and continues as a columnist. He can be reached at jimheffernan@jimheffernan.org and maintains a blog at www.jimheffernan.org. 

Republicans, Democrats differ on everything...

Written By Jim Heffernan for the Duluth NewsTribune on 5-6-23

Dire warning: This column is about politics. (Yikes!)

I spent my last 25 years of active journalism working on the opinion pages of this newspaper. In that role, I met and interviewed just about every politician and political aspirant from this region as well as statewide office seekers and incumbents — including a couple of vice presidents of the United States. You know the names of those two Minnesotans.

 

This is not to boast about all the important people I’ve met — governors, U.S. senators, congress members, legislative leaders, city leaders, dog catchers — but rather to illustrate that I’ve spent a considerable amount of time around politicians from both major parties (and a few from minor parties, including one who shares a given name with Jesse James).

 

You pick up on certain traits in people who seek public office, some of whom succeed. After the successful ones have been in office for awhile, they all, regardless of party, seem to have read the same playbook about how to be a politician.

 

For example, when speaking publicly, they never refer to this country simply as the United States; they always thunder “United States of America” in case there is any confusion about which United States they mean. And they say the people they serve are always “hard working” Americans who “roll up their sleeves” a lot. I have known many Americans I wouldn’t consider hard working, not excluding myself. I roll up my sleeves for a COVID-19 shot. They are also very quick with “thoughts and prayers” when the occasion suggests it.

 

Incumbents above a certain level never appear on TV or before a gathering of constituents without American flags (a.k.a. Old Glory) behind them, preferably several, in case there was any doubt about their patriotism.

 

Some things have changed, though, in recent years since I left active journalism — mainly the widening gap between the two major parties. Once opponents were referred to as “worthy” when referenced, and their party “the loyal opposition.” No more.

 

 

Thus, I have compiled a list of ways I see how Democrats and Republicans differ these days on major, and some minor, issues. I am not favoring one side over another here, although I obviously have a political ideology. These are just things I notice as I observe the political divisions play themselves out today, especially in Washington. Here goes:

 

— Republicans think Democrats are socialists or communists. Democrats think Republicans are autocrats or fascists.

 

— Democrats are for abortion and against guns. Republicans are against abortion and for guns.

 

— Sticking with guns, Republicans like AK-47 assault weapons with high capacity magazines. Democrats like squirt guns and read high capacity magazines such as Time, Newsweek and Mad. (What, ME worry?)

 

— Democrats are concerned about climate change. Republicans are concerned about diaper change.

 

— Republicans like Fox News. Democrats like Wolf…Blitzer. (Never allow either one in the hen house.)

 

— Republicans say Democrats are soft on crime. Democrats say Republicans are hard on the poor.

 

— Democrats like electric cars. Republicans like electric chairs.

 

— Republicans oppose all forms of taxation and are against government spending. Democrats are quick to support taxation and expand government spending.

 

— Traditional Republicans like creme brûlée. Democrats like peanut butter. (Serious caveat: There are indications that this has been reversed in recent elections.)

 

— Democrats embrace critical race theory. Republicans defend the Indianapolis 500.

 

— Republicans are wary of the federal bureaucracy, calling it the “deep state.” Democrats are less concerned about the deep state than the deep throat.

 

—Democrats want to raise the debt ceiling. Republicans want to raise the roof.

 

— Republicans embrace “replacement theory” promulgated by Fox News. Democrats don’t care if they go bald.

 

— Errant Republicans get in trouble over sex. Misbehaving Democrats get in trouble over money.

 

— Republicans claim the Jan. 6 march on Washington was as innocent as a Sunday school picnic. Democrats say the attack on the Capitol was an insurrection threatening our democracy.

 

— (Here’s one that won’t surprise you.) Republicans hate President Biden and want to see him impeached. Democrats despise ex-President Trump and want to see him jailed.

 

So here we are.— a country divided against itself. How long can it stand?

 

Finally, I suppose there are committed politicians who will resent some of these observations of the differences between the two parties. That’s fine. I believe more politicians should be committed. Pick your asylum. 

 

Jim Heffernan is a former Duluth News Tribune news and opinion writer and continues as a columnist. He can be reached at jimheffernan@jimheffernan.org and maintains a blog at www.jimheffernan.org. 

Lord Love a Lame Duck...

By Jim Heffernan

Here’s the latest news unfit to print…

Groups representing animal rights and the disabled announced yesterday they are launching an all-out effort to end the U.S. government’s insensitive maligning of handicapped American ducks.

The two groups, backed by the duck advocacy organization Ducks Uninhibited, are petitioning Congress and the executive branch to cease and desist in the use of “lame duck” in describing the remainder of the George W. Bush presidency and the final session of the current Congress.

“We’ve had a bellyful of lame duck this and lame duck that ever since the presidential election,” said Millard M. Merganser, executive vice president of the animal rights group Friends of our Fine Feathered Friends (FFFF). “It’s one thing to shoot ducks, but must we insult them, too?

Merganser was joined at a press conference by Rance G. Fowler of Ducks Uninhibited and S. Francis Drake, representing the Center for the Study of Political Incorrectness and Social Injustice at Tufts University, who said the term “lame” is no longer proper, except when describing poorly wrought theatrical performances or un-amusing jokes.

“When the chickens come home to roost, we must eschew lame ducks or our goose will be cooked,” asserted Merganser.

Fowler appealed to fellow Americans, especially current and past Boy Scouts, to remember to “be kind to our web-footed friends, for a duck may be somebody’s mother.” That quote, he said, is from an old Scouting anthem sung to the tune of “Stars and Stripes Forever” “but it’s as true today as it was in Abraham Lincoln’s day.”

Added FFFF’s Merganser, “If it quacks like a duck and walks like a duck it can’t be a lame duck.”

Getting their ducks in a row, the groups also announced the appointment of Huey, Louie and Dewey Duck as poster children for the campaign to stamp out lame ducks. They are the nephews of Donald and Daisy Duck of Los Angeles, who reared them. Their cousin, Daffy, is not involved in the effort because he really is lame, and Donald Duck’s wealthy but aged uncle, Scrooge McDuck, while ducking the media, has refused to endorse the effort.

Film at 10.