Scariest Halloween in History...

Edvard Munch: The Scream 1893

Written by By Jim Heffernan for the Duluth News Tribune, October 31, 2020

Holy smokes! This is the scariest Halloween in my entire life, and we’re talking a lot of years here. Instead of being frightened by people wearing masks in the past, this year we’re frightened by people NOT wearing masks.

 

Who’d have thought that could ever happen?

 

I don’t need to document why this is the scariest Halloween in history, but I will anyway. First there’s the global pandemic, thank you very much. Covid19 for short. Have you had a nose test yet? I’ve had two.

                                                                                                         

The other day I got a call from an office I had visited recently advising me that one of their people had tested positive and they were reaching out to everyone who might have had contact with that person recommending they get tested. So I arranged to drive through the Sears Roebuck Quick Covid Testing site at Miller Hill Mall where a guy wrapped in ghostlike protective gear, seemingly in keeping with Halloween, ran a projectile up my nose and sent me packing. I never left my car.

  

“We’ll let you know,” he said as I drove out of sight, Happy Halloween to all and to all a good night.

  

Backing up a bit, I should explain the site is in the former Sears auto service center at the mall. I used to drive through it for such things as new tires, before Sears went out of business there.

 

But I digress. Covid 19 isn’t the only thing making this the scariest Halloween in modern history. There’s that election in three days, in case you forgot. And what an election. I’ve been through a lot of them but I’ve never seen anything like this one.

 

This year’s election has caused me to reflect on a lifetime peripherally associated with politics and politicians. As a former journalist, I have met and interviewed numerous aspirants to political office, as well as many of those who actually made it. It has given me insights into people who seek to lead us in government, and, regardless of their political affiliations, have some things in common.

 

Aside from nobly wanting to help people, the main trait they all share is they love it. Absolutely love it. This is most true of those who have been elected at least once and enjoyed serving in the position they sought. It’s true at most levels of elective office, but people who make it to Congress come to adore being there.

 

And little wonder. The pay is good, the benefits are great, and some of the perks are mind-boggling. Like free handy parking places at Washington’s main airports when flying back home at taxpayers’ expense. Once back home, of course, they vow to “roll up their sleeves” and get to work for you while spouting the word “jobs,” “jobs,” “jobs” wherever they appear. They never take a vacation because they’re working for you all the time. Hmmm.

 

And woe betide any male politician who doesn’t sport a flag lapel pin. This is in case some voter somewhere might think them unpatriotic. Plus, big flags must surround them whenever possible when they appear in public, presumably reminding voters what country they are citizens of, just in case they forgot.

 

Each Congress member gets upwards of $1 million to decorate their office and hire a staff. They are kowtowed to everywhere they go, especially in their offices by staff and lobbyists who visit all the time. It could make a person feel pretty important.

 

But there’s one pesky problem: Elections. U.S. House members have to face the voters every two years, which means they’ve got to be campaigning to stay in office for at least half that time, maybe more. And then there are those upstarts from back home who challenge them in the next election.

 

Former House Speaker Tip O’Neill famously said “All politics is local.” That statement is quoted all the time, and it’s largely true. But I say all politics is personal, and you can quote me on that.

 

It extends beyond Congress, but staying at that level, if you had a job you absolutely loved with great pay and benefits and people falling all over you and making you feel important and somebody tried to take it away from you, how would you like it?

 

Of course that’s true at the presidential level too. And they can’t hide the resentment of their challengers. There used to be such phenomena as “my worthy opponent” and “the loyal opposition” but that has long since disappeared, replaced by contempt and, I hate to say it, downright disdain.

 

Never have these things been more at play than in this election. This is the first time that an election has actually seemed scary to me. This strange Halloween will be well over by election day on Tuesday, but will the election be over after election day? You wonder.

 

Jim Heffernan is a former Duluth News Tribune news and opinion writer and columnist. He can be reached at jimheffernan@jimheffernan.org and maintains a blog at www.jimheffernan.org.

A look back six months: Was it all a dream — or a nightmare?

Written By: Jim Heffernan, For the Duluth News Tribune | Jun 14th 2020 

 

Return with me now to last New Year’s Eve–six months ago. I know…it already feels like different time in another era. Looks like it was, come to think of it.

 

Our New Year’s Eve 2019 was typical. For many years, we have celebrated the arrival of the new year the same way. Close friends annually throw a party in their home and invite a coterie of old friends together with some newer acquaintances. Adds up to upwards of a dozen or so celebrants.

 

Good food and drink, good company, shed the old, ring in the new, bright hopes for the future, etc., etc., etc.

 

Upon arrival, I was quite startled to see an old acquaintance from way back in our college days. I had thought we were both dead. I’d heard talk of him in the intervening years–about how he’d gone to Alaska and made a fortune in fish. I’ll call him Willie to protect the innocent. 

 

I spotted him across the crowded room shortly after arriving and immediately approached him. “Fancy seeing you here,” I enthused. “Happy New Year.”

 

“Not gonna be so happy,” my very old rich friend responded.

 

Oh, oh, I was thinking. He must think the stock market is going to crash or the banks fail. The truly wealthy worry about that a lot. I asked him what he meant by the dour new year remark.

 

He took a sip of the red wine he was holding and said, “Well, it looks like there’s going to be a global pandemic affecting everyone in one way or another, killing thousands and throwing the economy into a tailspin.”

 

Whew, that was pretty shocking to hear. “Aw, you’ve got to be kidding. Can’t happen today,” I responded. “Ain’t happened since 1918.” I was quick with that date because my parents experienced it. “America can beat back any disease. It’s about to become 2020,” I went on.

 

“It’s gonna happen again in 2020,” said Willie, but I laughed it off. It was New Year’s Eve, after all. Let’s party. I wasn’t going to let that pessimistic tycoon ruin the evening.

 

“You wait and see,” he continued. “And if you think that’s bad, wait’ll you see what’s going to happen to the economy. The pandemic is going to close down the country and millions of workers will lose their jobs. Unemployment will match that experienced in the Great Depression.”

 

I started looking around the room for other people to talk to, to ring in the new year on a more optimistic note. Everybody was laughing, jabbering, imbibing a bit, munching on goodies and looking forward to the midnight arrival of 2020.

 

As I was attempting to break away, he took my arm and said, “There’s more.”

 

“More?” I responded. “What more?”

 

Willie looked me in the eye and said, “There’s going to be an incident of police brutality in Minneapolis resulting in the murder of an African American man that will result in major rioting in American cities and even spread throughout Europe and elsewhere.”

 

I just stared blankly at him with a look of incredulity. “Yeah, right,” I responded. “Are you sure that’s only wine you’ve got in that glass?”

 

“A major neighborhood in Minneapolis will be destroyed by rioting,” he went on. “Similar rioting will go on in major cities across the country–New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, Washington, D.C., Portland and Seattle. The Minnesota National Guard will be activated in Minneapolis to restore order and in St. Paul to protect the Capitol.”

 

I figured the minnow mogul had gone off his rocker somehow. “Hey, come on, I responded. “This is America. Things can’t get out of control like that here.”

 

With talk like that I was starting to experience a great depression of my own. Besides, it was only just talk. 

 

I moved on to engage with other revelers, leaving him standing alone in a corner sipping his wine and eyeing the hors d’oeuvres. It was New Year’s Eve, after all. Bring on 2020.

 

In keeping with our annual practice, we all gathered in front of the smart TV as the countdown to the new year began. The Times Square ball had dropped an hour earlier in New York. Now it was our turn to toot our party horns and toast the new year with glasses of champagne.

 

As the clock struck midnight, spouses kissed, friends hugged, warm greetings were exchanged and “Auld Lang Syne” was sung in typical fashion. I glanced around the room for Willie, but he was gone, disappeared like a thief in the night.

 

“Jeez,” I said to a fellow partier standing nearby, “poor Willie ˙has really gone off the deep end predicting the new year will change our lives forever after disease, economic collapse and anarchy.”

 

“Happy New Year,” my friend said, affecting an ironic tone.

 

“Here’s hoping,” said I, my usually sunny optimism flagging.

 

The next morning I awoke thinking, did I dream all that? What a nightmare.

 

Jim Heffernan is a former Duluth News Tribune news and opinion writer and columnist. He can be reached at jimheffernan@jimheffernan.org and maintains a blog at www.jimheffernan.org.  

Contagion: Pandemic hits Northland in current movie...

By Jim Heffernan

Poster for movie, Contagion

The current movie “Contagion” is about what the title implies: How a global pandemic is caused when a virus that has no known remedy spreads from person to person until millions are infected and who knows how many are dead. Two percent of the world population is mentioned.

And in this fictional treatment of an alarming worldwide emergency, we are not spared. We means Northeastern Minnesota. Here’s how.

Part of the film is set in Minneapolis, where one of the stars, Matt Damon, resides with his wife, played by the actress Gwyneth Paltrow, who returns from a trip to Hong Kong with the virus and the threat radiates out from her. The lissome Paltrow doesn’t seem to worry much about her image as a great beauty. She is seen throwing up some awful looking fluid just before she dies of the virus.

Meanwhile (never underestimate the power of “meanwhile” in journalism), her grieving husband (Damon), trying to save his children, contacts various officials trying to deal with the spreading pandemic and is given some very bad news for Minnesota: “It’s in Ramsey County and even Carlton and St. Louis Counties.” (That’s in quotes, and might not be exact, but it’s close.)

Nice to see we’re not forgotten when it comes to a deadly worldwide pandemic.

It’s an engrossing movie, though. Highly recommended. But if you do go to see it, be sure not to cough in the theater.