By Jim Heffernan
Here are a few random thoughts about some recent stuff.
1. We all feel badly about the shooting of Cecil the lion,
of course. Aside from the sadness of it all, though, I have been wondering why
nobody has mentioned that Cecil’s name is the first name of Cecil Rhodes, the
British founder of the African country of Rhodesia -- the former name of
Zimbabwe, where Cecil was killed. What goes around, comes around.
2. I wonder why nobody else has mentioned that Donald Trump
looks a bit like Cecil. At least as much as any prominent human I can think of.
Growls a little like him too, at times.
3. On the big Fox News debate of the 10 leading contenders
for the Republican presidential nomination, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker stood
right beside the leonine Mr. Trump, displaying tolerant smiles. Is Walker a
little cross-eyed? He reminds me of Alfred E. “What, Me Worry?” Newman, of Mad
Magazine. (Googling Newman to check on the spelling of his name, I noticed he
once said, “Listening to opera is to entertainment what falling off the roof of
a barn is to transportation.” No mention of attending a blues festival.)
4. With all of this talk about Cecil, it made me wonder
whatever happened to Clarence the Cross-Eyed Lion. Remember him from the
movies? Not to be confused with Gladly the Cross-eyed Bear. You’ll be hearing
more about him during the Walker campaign.
5. I wonder if it’s politically incorrect to even mention
cross-eyedness any more. I often force-cross my eyes when confronted with
something outrageous, like the Republican debates.
6. We’ve all made mistakes in life, but you know you’ve
screwed up if you’ve caused a worldwide outrage, like the Twin Cities dentist
who murdered Cecil the lion. It’s not easy to cause a worldwide outrage, unless
you are a prominent politician or a famous terrorist. Infamous dentist? Not so much.
This is my last post for a while. Vacation time.
